


The hardest part of losing myself was also losing you (On hold writer's block)

by milkbaby22



Series: Burning passion, rising flame. [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Okay lets pretend male pregnancy is rare but can happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-02-05 22:55:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkbaby22/pseuds/milkbaby22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A breif introduction/continuation of the events of the previous work.</p><p>“The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation.”<br/>― Cheryl Hughes</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The end of an era

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : False, figment of imagination, never occured.

The air had chilled slightly, the sound of the leaves blowing in the wind was prevelent, none of these things mattered how could they when ones entire world was imploding around them.

Cristiano stood silent. Traumatized, Lionel is his sweet, kindhearted innocent Lionel had betrayed him.

The memories they had made over the years, now all seemed to be a fasacade, was this the first time?, or had he been unfaithful throughout all of their relationship and subsequent marriage.

"How many?" His voice quite.

"Cris please." Leo continued to beg his guilt boiling over,"Dont do this."

"How many others?" 

Leo sobbed even more,"He was the only one, it was one time."

Cris then felt his anger and pain boil over, walking towards him he snarled,"How many times did he have you?"

Leo couldn't answer his head hung in shame.

"How did he fuck you?" Grabbing ahold of the younger mans arm," Answer me!!!"

"Cris let go your hurting me." Leo pleaded, his pleas fell on deaf ears.

"Fucking answer me, how did he fuck you Leo." A dirty smirk on his handsome face," Did you bend over for him?, Did you get ontop and ride him? Did you suck his dick?"

Lionel looked at him horrified.

"Shame he would have enjoyed you sucking his dick, always enjoyed it when you did it for me." Cristiano face filled with rage,"Maybe I need to remind you how good you felt when I fucked you."

Violenly grabbing ahold of the shorter man he dragged him, kicking and screaming into the living room, before throwing him onto the large circular couch.

"Stop please Cristiano.." Lionel begged as he felt his pants being ripped off .

"Shut up, shut up." Cris yelled, forcefully covering the squirming man below him lips, with his own.

He had him pinned down his weight holding him in place, Leo was stuggling.

His hand was in the process of ripping off his underwear when it brushed something, elevated. he immediately froze.

He had never once seen the scars which he bore not only from bringing his children into the world, the night he almost died.

What was he doing?, He couldnt do this, it was wrong. 

In his rage he had almost done the unthinkable. He felt disgusted.

"Don't hurt me.. please." Lionel continued to sob from under him, fear unmistakablely present in his eyes.

quickly and quitly easing himself off the smaller crying man, he had gotten a full veiw of what they were facing, Lionel was broken and he didn't know how to fix it.

He was ashamed," I never once cheated on you." Cris said solemly," The thought never crossed my mind."

Leo looked at him still in the same position he had been previously, he was still crying.

"When I get back I want you out of my house." Turning walking towards the door," When everything is finalized I'll sign, we can share custody of Alex."

Looking back for the last time, at the man who had given him the best thing in his life but who ahd also broken his heart," If it has nothing to do with our daughter i never want to see you again."

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Reality slowly setting in.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt and betrayed Cris sets out to make Lionels life a living hell in the worst way possible, causing Leo to sink even deeper into depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Figment of imagination, not true, never happened.  
> Ps: I do not know anything about the combination of drugs please don't shot me if I'm wrong.

"He has been like this since he got here." Fabio explained quietly to Marcelo and Ricky, who were watching concerned at the sad state of their friend.

 "I know he's had a tough time with Lionel but I've never seen him like this." Ricky observed as he watched Cris, down yet another glass of Vodka, and for a man who never drank this was saying something.

"Cris?" Marcelo walked slowly over to his friend taking a seat beside him.

Cris said nothing, just poured another glass and downed it in one go.

"Cris?" Marcelo tried again this time with more force.

"I don't know whats worse, the fact that I feel in love with him or the fact that I was an idiot for so long." 

Everyone was confused, Ricky took matters into his own hands.

"Cris we cant help you unless we know whats wrong." Sitting on his opposite side squeezing his shoulder.

Cris smiled sadly," Can you find me a hit man?"

Ricky quickly shook his head.

"Then no you can't help me."  Cris spun the clear liquid in the glass,"He asked me for a divorce."

"He did what?!!" Fabio yelled shocked.

Cris laughed bitterly,"Oh it gets better." Taking a swig this time straight from the bottle,"He slept with Augero."

The three men remained silent, they couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"What are you going to do?" Fabio asked softly, his eyes sympathic.

"I'm giving him what he asked for." Cris said calmly.

"Cristiano, you cant make a rash decision based off emotion, you have a child together." Ricky tried to reason.

"I could forgive him for everything else, the distance, the lies but I can't forgive him for this."

"This dosn't make sense, why would he cheat on you?" Marcelo looked confused.

"At this point I don't even care, I never want to see him again." Cris was firm, he hated the fact even after all this time Leo had made him into an almost open book," I'm going to make sure he never forgets what he did."

"Cris, think about what your doing." Fabio warned," If you do anything to hurt him it could backfire."

He looked up at his friends with  determination blazing in his eyes,"Hurt?" Cris stepped towards Fabio,"I'm not setting out to hurt him, I'm going to destroy him."

The following day Cris visited Marq Lopez the top divorce attorny money could buy, and presented his case.

"Cristiano lets cut to the chase this has nothing to do with money am I right?" He eyed the man infront of him,"You want full custody?"

Cris nodded," He is an unfit parent and I feel the need to protect my daughter." Cris blatantly lied.

"Your going to have to prove he is unfit." The lawyer sat back, looking intently at him,"Are you sure you want to do this?"

 His eyes burned with rage,"Never been surer of anything in my life."

 The custody hearing was set Cris made sure he would win favor, in one of the worst possible ways, by setting him up.

The insesant ringing of his phone, had woken him up much earlier than he would have liked, but since it refused to stop he decided to get it over and done.

"Hola." His voice filled with sleep, he was not in the mood for this.

"Leo I need you not to panic." The sound of Cesc's voice said from across the line, only his sounded alarmed.

"What are you talking about?" Leo mumbled,"Cesc If this is a joke.."

"Turn the tv on to chanel 104."

Leo did as he was told, the picture which appeared not only shocked him but made him ill, he was holding a sizable transperent bag filled with plastic pill bottles while some were scattered on the floor, under the headline Addicted to priscription drugs.

" I don't understand how did they get these?" Leo asked genuinely confused, he had exited his car and found the bag infront of his house, picking it up some had fallen out, genuinely thinking someone had dropped the bag by accident he took it inside his house in hopes they would pass by to retrive it.

"This is bad." Gerard said sitting down infront of Leo, as he and Cesc braved the outside fiasco to enter his house to comfort him.

"Thanks for the heads up captin obvious." Leo snapped.

"Lionel we love you and just want the best for you." Cesc carefully brooched the subject," were they yours?"

Leo looked at his friend dumbfounded, had he really just asked that.

"You think it's true?" Leo said hurt," Cesc after all these years you think I would be that stupid." Yelling the last part.

"I'm not saying that you are but this isn't pure coinsidence someone must have planted them there." Geri tried to reason logically.

Leo by this point had heard enough," The both of you are supposed to be my friends and yet you doubt me." He smiled sadly," Please leave."

Cesc and Gerard looked at each other sadly, before standing and exiting the house.

He was alone again, walking towards the bathroom he opened the cabinet revealing not the contents of the bag but, bottle after bottle of priscribed medication.

The dreaded day had finally arrived the custody hearing Xavi, Andres and Dani had all come for moral support, teling his family he needed to do this alone.

"The custody case of Lionel Andres Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo Dos Santo Aveiro, according to my notes you both have agreeded to joint custody?"

"Yes your honour." Leo lawyer Enrique answered for him.

"Very well.."

"Your honour if I may in light of the recent events, my client and I have decided to change the motion from Joint custody to full custody." Marq said.

"Full custody?" Leo's eyes flew wide open.

"Your honour Senor Messi is not in the correct and responsible mindset to care for his daughter with my client." Walking towards the bench, he presented the photo from the magazines to the judge," In addition to this we have also investigated and discovered his problems go deeper.

"Objection." Enrique said.

"Overruled, Mr. Lopez you may continue." The Female judge was no more than forty years old.

"He is being priscribed, 20 mg of prozac, 50 mg of  Zoloft and 20 mg of Celexa in combination with 1mg of Xanax and 5 mg of Ambien."

"This information was obtained illegally." Enrique tried again, a single tear slide down Lionels face.

"Sir I suggest if you do not want to end up in jail for the rest of the day you sit down." The judge said voice firm.

"These doses were recently doubled, so In addition to being severly depressed he is also an insomniac and prone to panic attacks."

Leo's friends who had accompanied him sat in shock this was all news to them, they had no idea he was dealing with depression much less anything else.

"Your honour in the safety intrest of the child, with everything Senor Messi has gone through over the past six months we strongly argue that full custody with supervised visitaion rights be given to my client."

"No." Leo said softly," They cant take my child, my daughter."

"I fully award custody with supervised visitaion to your client, court is ajurded." The slamming of the gavel signalled the final act.

"No please you can't take my child." Leo begged sobbing,"she is all I have left."

"Leo we're going to get her back." Dani said scooping his crying friend into his arms.

"He took her away from me." Leo only cried harder.

"It's okay Leo we're going to fix this someway some how." Andres had joined his crying friend on the floor with Dani.

Xavi felt tears begin to cloud his eye's he looked up to see a lawyer, Cris' lawyer staring on at them an indiscribale look on his face.

For the first time in his career he felt guilty as he saw, what he had just done for what it really was revenge.

"You son of a bitch." Marq said once outside in the lobby to Cristiano,"You did this to hurt him."

 Cris simply raised an eyebrow,"Whats your point?"

Marq felt sick," I refuse to represent you any longer, he is lonely, ill and suffering and all you can think about is revenge." Turning to walk away,"You are an evil man."

Cristiano was unfazed.

"He hasn't moved since yesterday." Xavi said to Cesc, as they observed their freind stare silently at the wall.

"How could he have done this to him?" Cesc was still shocked by what had taken place.

Shaking his head," I don't know." Before facing his teamate," But one thing I do know is I want to kill him for it."

 

 

 


	3. Did I make a mistake?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blow of the custody loss had become too much for Leo to handle.  
> While Cris continues his quest for revenge, before getting a suprise visit from someone unexpected.  
> Everything is not what it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: False, figment of imagination, never happened.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Fabio slamed down the magazine he was holding," You think it's okay for you to make people assume your banging a different person every other day?" He was livid.

Calmly sipping his coffee Cristiano stared at him blankly," I didn't screw any of them if thats what your thinking."

Fabio looked utterly disgusted," Is this a joke to you?" 

"Do I look like im laughing." Cris deadpanned.

"And so you think he deserves this?" Gonzalo spoke after a few minutes," Your punishing him because of a slip up?"

"Slip up?" Cris placed down his mug,"If your significant other told you after months of distance, moodiness and no intimacy bar one time, that they slept with their best friend and demanded a divorce what would you do?"

"I sure as hell wouldn't do what your doing." Marcelo scoffed,"He is suffering, you basically took away the one thing that made him even remotely happy, while rubbing your so called escapades in his face."

"Have you even tried to speak to him?" Gonzalo asked trying to keep his anger in check.

" I told you I want nothing to do with him." The Portugese snarled.

"Do you honestly think hurting him is the answer?" Marcelo looked on saddly, at first he was hurt by the betrayal which his friend had gone through but over the past two months, he had grown sorry for Lionel." Cris the combination of drugs he is being priscribed is for persons who are under extreme mental distress, this added stress can't be good for him."

"And why should i care i stopped caring the minute he said he wanted to leave me." Cris said coldly, when in truth he did care it just hurt to admit that.

"Listen to me you prick." Gonzalo has heard enough,"Let me inform you in case you have forgotten, you wouldn't have a daughter if it wasn't for him so you better care."

"Gonzalo.." Fabio tried to calm him down.

"Shut up." He snapped to the other man,"Do you know what a ten kilogram weight loss looks like on someone who was small already to begin with, let me tell you what it looks like, he looks ill, like is is about to collapse." The Argentine was seething,"He goes for days without sleeping, and speaking to those around him."

"And again I ask why should I care?" 

"You son of a ....." Gonzalo arose ready to punch him, only to be held back by Marcelo and Fabio.

"Cris just go, because we're obviously wasting words on you." Fabio relayed angrily.

Cris left without saying goodbye.

"Lionel you have to eat something." Cesc said trying to force the smoothie he made into his hands.

"I'm not hungry." This response was typical of him these days.

"Leo I dont care if your not, you damn near almost collapsed on me this morning." Cesc refused to budge,"I'm not moving until you do."

Leo had a massive headache and he knew Cesc would only make it worse, he sighed deeply and drank the smoothie.

Cesc sighed in relief, In the close to twenty years he's known Leo he had never seen him like this before, and it was scary the memory of him standing in the kitchen with a large serated edge knife in his hand staring on it had cost him two days worth of sleep.

"Everytime I turn on the tv or open a newspaper it's just lie after lie." Leo said somberly.

"Lionel we all make mistakes." Cesc said softly.

"If i had known, I would have never gone out with Sergio."

"Leo you can't blame yourself." Cesc said honestly.

"Who else am I suppose to blame, Kun didn't do anything wrong I was at fault all along the way."

"Leo what are you talking about." Cesc said genuinely confused.

"It dosn't matter." Leo dismissed him,"I cant fix anything."

"You don't know that." Cesc pushed.

" Cesc I appreciate your eternal optomisim but I know I cant." Leo said getting up," Thank you for everything."

Cesc nodded quitely. 

Saturday had come and he was finally able to see his daughter. She had grown he thought fondly, her large green eye's both he and Cris had no idea where they had come from, her hair had gotten thicker, longer and curlier. She was truely becoming the spilting image of Cris himself. She was beautiful.

Sobbing into her soft dark hair, he had missed her more than words could say. He missed them both, even though he didn't get a chance to hold her, Shopia thats what they decided to name her, for the months he carried her he had loved her utterly.

Before he wanted it was time for him to leave, kissing Alex goodbye he made his way down the stairs of his fromer home, only to run into the one person he was trying to avoid.

The strange thing about life as Cristiano found out was the harder you try to avoid someone the more likely you are to see them. 

And what he saw shocked him to his core, the discriptions his friends had given him were mild to what Lionel looked like before him, he was so thin under his shirt Cris was sure he was skin and bones, he looked goshtly pale, the dark circles under his eye's were so blue Cris had to stop himself from putting his hand out to see if they were cosmetic.

"Lionel?" Cris said softly, shock evident on his face.

"Elma I have to go." Leo said ignoring Cristiano and heading straight for the door.

Cris tried to stop him,"Leo.. your not taking care of yourself."

Leo stopped in his tracks turning around," Don't you dare pretend that you care." He said shaking, tears falling down his face,"You took her from me, the one thing which truely made me happy and you took her from me, after everything we went through you took MY DAUGHTER AWAY FROM ME!!!!" Leo raged,"So don't pretend you care, no one is here to see or to capture you keeping up appearances, I dont need your pity."

"Leo!!!" Cris shouted as he walked away.

"I hope you burn in hell." Leo said opening his car door," Fuck you." Before speeding off.

He stood there for minutes, the guilt slowly setting in before entering his house.

"I don't even know who you are anymore." A soft female voice said from behind, he turned to see the most disappointed look one could imagine on his sisters face.

He had gone too far.

Arriving home, Leo checked his front door and found it was open, even in his mind space he was sure he hadn't left it open.

"And I see you have finally returned." A voice said as he entered the kitchen.

"How did you get in here?" Leo asked tierdly, he could feel the smirk on his face even though his back was turned.

"Is that anyways to great your best frie..." Sergio couldn't finish his sentence, the sound of glass shattering came into being, as he dropped the glass he was holding at the sight of his friends frighting apperance,"Lionel?" Kun's tone chnaged from jovial to alarmed.

"And hello to you too." Leo said visibly annoyed,"What do you want?"

"Leo I think you need to sit down." Kun said escorting him to the sofa.

"I'm not a fucking invalid, why do people continue to treat me like I am."

"Well clearly your on the verge of becoming one, have you seen yourself?" Kun was visibly worried,"This stress cant be good for your you,Leo you have a child you need to think about." Sergio knew Alex was a sore point for him but he had no choice his Goddaughter could not benifit from Leo in this condition.

Leo started laughing hysterically,until finally long held in tears began to flow.

"Does he even know what happened?" Kun asked a crying Lionel.

Leo shook his head.

"Why did you tell him?" Sergio ran a hand through his hair frustrated.

"I cant lie like that Kun you know this." Leo said softly," I was filled with so much guilt."

Leo turned towards kun,"The day after I kissed him for what would be I knew the last time, I gave myself to him and now I don't know what to do."

"Leo what are you talking about?" Sergio was confused.

Leo smiled sadly,"With my luck I keep getting knocked up at the worst possible times."

"Your pregnant?" Sergio was now realizing just how hard the situation was for Leo,"And I'm scared that becuase I've already lost one child I can't lose another."

"Leo look at me." Staring into his friends eye's, he reassured him,"I promise you wont okay."

He was going to make sure of this.

It was almost 9 pm when the insestant knocking on his front door drove Cristiano downstair crussing.

He was greeted by an unwanted visitor.

"Hello Ronaldo long time no see." A very angry Argentine stood before him.

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Sometimes suffering is too much to bear.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano finally is confronted by the man who tore his life apart.  
> While another event has lionel hit rock bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No true, false figment of imagination.

"Get off my property." The Portugese snarled.

Kun payed him no mind and pushed his way inside the house.

"What part of get off my property do you not understand." Cris said closing the door,"Either you leave or I'm calling the police."

"Call them." Kun said taking a seat, placing his feet on the coffee table,"But I'm sure the media would love to know your true intentions as to why my friend is in his currant state."

"You wouldn't dear." Cris looked preplexed at the Argentine.

Fucking try me." Kun's eyes were dark,"How is my Goddaughter?"

"Why do you even think I would tell you about her?" Cris' head was croacked to the side.

"Becaue I asked nicely."

"Why are you even here?" Cris finally snapped,"Have you no decency or self respect?, You show your face at my door after what you did?"

Kun laughed cynically,"You really are thick aren't you?"

"Get out." Cris yelled all but ready to physically throw the man out of his house.

"You don't get it do you?" He looked up in amazement,"I'm here because Leo cant be, he is far too fragile to explain himself."

"I don't need to hear from you how you both fuck okay just get out!!" Cris felt himself ready to explode.

The shorter man looked up at him dumbfounded," You idiot.."

"So it wasn't enough for you to betray my trust and sleep with my husband you feel the need to rub it in my face and insult me?" Cris walked over to the now standing man,"What do you want from me?, to steal my daughter as well?"

Kun finally lost it,"WE DIDN'T FUCK!!!"

Cris' face went through a range of emotions, ranging from guilt to resounding hurt,"He made it up because he wanted to leave me?" Cris never felt more betrayed in his life,"That son of a bitch.."

"Cris.." Kun tried to get his attention.

"I should have known he would do this." Cris raged on.

"Cris..." He tried again.

"How could he do this, to me?"

"Oh dear God will you just shut up." Kun snapped,Stop wallowing in self pity and let me explain."

"What is there to explain?" Cris raised a brow," He obviously just wanted to leave me."

"Cristiano from the times you've been with him do you really think he would deliberately set out to hurt you?"

"I can't put anything past him these days." Cris said angrily, thinking about all the times Leo had shyed away from him was this because he didn't want him anymore.

"HE WAS DRUGGED!!!" Kuns consience finally gave out, blurting out the answer to Cris' question.

"Huh..what?" Cris turned to look at him confused.

"He was drugged." He answered calmly," Cris please you need to let me explain what happened." Urging the other man to sit.

Cris took a seat infront of him more confused then he was before.

 "Don't interrupt me please." Kun sighed deeply,"This is hard enough to say as it is."

*FLASHBACK*

The air was cool, the atmosphere calm, Leo cant remember the city ever looking as beautiful as it did now, the gentle breeze caressing his face. He would have been relaxing if only Cristiano was not berating him telling him he needed to go out.

"Leo you can't just stay home all day, you have to go out sometime." Cris explained putting his arms around his waist ,Leo for once stayed still." Life goes on."

"But what if the baby needs anything?" He was looking for any excuse for Cris to drop the argument.

"I'm perfectly capable of dealing with it." Pulling him closer,"go get ready, I have a surprise for you."

"Oh jeeh a surprise just what I need." Leo rolled his eyes,"Cris I really don't want to go out."

Cris huffed, still stubborn as always," Its non-negociable, your going."

Knowing Cris wouldn't leave him alone, he reluctantly agreeded,"Fine I'll go."

Walking into the shower, he let the hot water cascade over his body so many thoughts running through his mind, he just couldn't relax.

Exiting the shower, he carefully toweled himself off wondering what to wear luckily Cris had already decided for him, A long sleeve deep blue button down shirt, a pair of designer jeans and a pair of expensive black sneakers were laid out on the bed, acessoriezed by a watch he recognized as Cristiano's and his favorite colonge.

All in all Cris had done a wonderful job of dressing him.

Making his way back downstairs, he could see Cris grinning.

"What are you smiling at?" Leo was curious.

"Oh nothing..Just you know a friend came to visit."

"Friend?, who would that be.." As Leo finished his sentence he could feel two strong arms wrap around him, spinning him around. Who the hell was it.

Only when he was placed on the ground was he able to turn and see it was none other than Sergio"Kun" Augero himself, grinning as always.

"Oh my God you asshole." Leo grinned throwing his arms around his friend," I havent seen you in ages."

"I know, I've missed you too." Kun laughed,"I take it he told you I'm kidnapping you for the night."

"Oh I can hardly wait." Leo rolled his eyes their escapads were legendery.

"Okay guys I think its time to get going." Cris said practically pushing Leo out the door."Dont come back till tomorrow late morning."

"Did he just throw us out of the house?" Kun asked getting into his car.

"He did, he's been bothering me to get out more."

"And do you go out?"

"Does to the supermarket and walking the baby in the park count?" Leo shrugged," I just dont want to leave the house, I enjoy being with her at all times."

"Well guess what tonight isn't one of those nights." Kun grinned," We're going to eat some nice food and go to the club."

"The club?" Leo groaned, he wasn't particulrly fond of night clubs.

"Yes the club, Lionel we're going to dance,your going to drink and have a goodtime."

Of course Kun would want to stay sober to see him make a fool of himself.

When they arrived the club was packed, barely any moving space, this is what Leo tried his best to avoid, he hated feeling boxed in.

"Come on don't be a spoil sport live a little." Kun said pushing yet another drink into his hand.

Leo only glared at him, drinking the fruity concoction, it tasted surprisingly good, feeling less tense he decided why not he grabbed ahold of kun and dragged him to the dance floor.

Drink after drink kept coming as Leo danced with Kun, at times grinding on his friend, Kun didn't mind though, Leo was enjoying himself.

That was until, Leo began to feel weird.

"Kun I don't feel so good." Grabbing ahold of his friends shirt, to steady himself.

"Leo." Kun grabbed ahold of his face, looking into his eye's they looked glassy."Oh fuck we need to get you out of here."

As quickly as he could supporting Leo's weight they made their way out of the club, quickly driving them back to where he was staying.

Opening the fridge he grabbed two bottles of water forcing Leo to drink them until finished, he ended up throwing up after, but he needed to flush his system. As Kun had been confirmed he had indeed had his drink spiked.

Quickly cheacking the internet for helpful information, he called downstairs requesting bags of ice which were promptly brought, these helped tremendously, as Leo became more coherant and aware, but what they didn't do was solve the outstanding problem which was still there two hours later.

Regardless of Leo being consious he still had no energy and he obviously seemed to be in pain. Kun was left with no other option.

"Leo, just hear me out please." Kun reasoned with his friend," I can help you, but I need your approval."

Leo snorted,"No." He tried sitting up but failed miserabily,"I'm fine."

"Leo your not fine, your in pain." Kun tried again," It would be a one time thing, no one would have to know."

"It would go against everything I was taught." Leo snapped,"Have you forgotten I happen to be married."

"And what do you suggest I do, call Cris?" Kun sighed," If this is still there after a half an hour I'm taking you to the hospital."

Carefully monitoring the time, his erection still had not gone away, in fact it had gotten worse, even more painful.

"I'm giving you the choice one last time, either I help you or your going to the hospital where they are going to stick a nice long needle into you and drain the blood." Kun's face was stern,"Make up your mind and quickly."

The mental image for Leo proved to be the tipping point.

Kuns hand was different from Cris', where he was gentle and soft, Cris was mostly rough, where his movements were timed perfectly,Cris was often eratic. If Leo was being honest with himself this was probably the best hand job he had gotten in a long while.

For Kun it was a different story, his head was turned trying to preserve as much of Lionel dignity as possible, which placed him an even more akward position, he had never had any form of sexual relations with the same sex before, and was going off what he would like and wanted to feel.

The moaning which could be heard only proved to be more of a phycological freak out; He knew he should have carried Leo to the hospital but to save him the embarassment of explaining.

What really freaked him out was Leo moaning his name, He hadn't expected that.

All in all, for both of them the experience had been extremely akward, but for Lionel it was far worse, he had cheated on his husband with his best friend.

"Dont beat yourself up about it." Kun said quitely after he had gotten them both cleaned up,"The more you think about it, the guiltier you feel."

"I feel like I'm in a frigging telenovela." Rubbing a hand over his face,"Thank you."

"Hey, its a one time thing, dont be thinking about making me your lover." Gently punching his friends shoulder grining."Although I would make a good trophy husband." 

"Why am I not surprised you would think that." Leo half laughed, half sighed,"Good night."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Thats it?" Cris said raising an eyebrow.

"Your not upset?" Kuns eyes flew open.

"Upset?" Cris eye'd him strangely,"I would have told you to do the same thing."

"But I thought...." Kun said calmly,"With you being very protective over him."

"That I would go crazy and freak out." Cris for the first in a long while genuinly laughed,"Sergio, if you had indeed had sex with him I wouldn't have cared, I would have been hurt but I would get over it I love him." Taking a deep breath he choose his words,"He wanted to leave me, I never wanted to get married but he changed all that, gave me the greatest thing I could have wished for, only for him to give me papers telling me I wasn't good enough anymore it ripped my soul apart."

Kun stood shocked, he knew Cris didn't open up to people so having him open up was someting he never though about, leaving he knew he had accomplished what he came to do.

Red,scarlet, adjectives used to discribe the bright colouring of objects not limited to clothing, shoes or even liquids, Crimson the perfect word for discribing the thick liquid, slowly running down the drain, the droplets still drying,the stained clothing discarded on the floor.

Water mixing with his tears, did nothing to combat the saltiness,why did this keep happening?, Everything he held dear yanked away from him, Had he wished for this?, was he responsible?.

"Leo?" A small accented voice said,pushing open the bathroom door, taking in the sorroundings."Lionel." Slowly walking towards the small man, quite sobbing noises could be heard.

Not caring if he got wet, he held kneeled before him.

"Leo, it's me, it's Sergio."

 Slowly,lifting his head stareing into ths face of his friend, tears still coming from his eyes," I lost the baby."

 Kun didn't say a word, he couldn't what do you say to someone who has lost so much in less than a year.

"Is it me?" Leo said softly, gazing out the window,"Why my children keep dying?"

"Lionel, there was nothing you could do." Sergio tried to reassure him, it wasn't his fault.

As night turned to day, as darkness faded into light, Leo realized two things.

He had hit rock bottom.

He was suicidal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Hitting rock bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of suffering, Lionels condition rapidly deteriorates.  
> Cris still confused about the future of his marriage has a change of heart, but does it come too little too late as Leo does the unthinkable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: False, figment of imagination, never happened or ever will.

 Rainy dark skies reflected an even darker desire, how could he continue on like this if he would only suffer heartbreak after heartbreak.

It had been a week since, his miscarriage and he still hadn't come to terms in any way with what happened, he had in fact grown more depressed, this was not helped by the fact he had stopped taking his medication when he had found out he was pregnant.

Everyone around him grew increasingly concerned, with the exception of Kun no one else knew what had occured.

"Lionel, you have to get ready." Cesc tried to coax him out of bed, it was Saturday his allowed visitaion day.

Shaking his head Leo looked at his friend grief striken,"I can't go."

"What do you mean you cant go?" Turning around shocked,"Leo this is your daughter, don't you want to see her?"

"It hurts so badly." He had broken down weeping,"I can't take her with me, I can only hold her for a few hours Cesc I can't do this."

Cesc was left stunned, never before had Leo turned down seeing his child, something must have been wrong.

"I'm going to call Cris, tell him your sick or something." Cesc slowly backed out of the room,closing the door behind him. Leo had reached his breaking point.

"Hello?" Cris answered the phone not looking at the caller Id.

"Amm Cris, hey it's me Cesc." Taking a deep breath he was prepared to lie,"Leo can't make it today he isn't feeling well."

"Whats arong with him?, Is he ok?" There was something in his voice which Cesc identified as worry, he couldn't lie anymore.

"Truthfully, no he isn't ok, and he isn't sick he is refusing to see her ok and I don't know why or how much more he can take, Cris you need to fix this." Cesc wasn't fond of the man from the begining  especially now since he had put one of his best friends through hell, but he wasn't above begging when nesseciary.

"He dosn't want to see Alex?" Cris had gotten even more concerned.

"I mentioned today is his visitation day and he completely broke down." Cesc paused tears forming in his eyes,"He misses her."

Cristiano had never felt more guilt in his life, he in truth had missed him more than he could almost bear at times. His small warm body beside his at night, his voice although annoying at times he would do almost anything to hear,his hair the way his fingers would glide through it, but mostly his eyes the way how when he thought Cris wasn't paying attention, they would look on him with so much love and affection.

"I'll talk to the judge." Cris said calmly," I'll see if she is willing to void the visitation order, so he can see her whenever he wants."

"You really didn't want this did you?" Cesc was finally understanding his point of veiw.

Cris smiled sadly,"I never did."

"Tell him." Cesc pressed,"If you still love him, you need to tell him."

"I really don't think I can." Sighing heavily,"He hates me."

"He has every right too, but I know he still loves you." 

Hanging up, Cris finally realized just how much his actions had hurt him.

True to his word, he schedulded a meeting with the Judge and his lawyer, pleading his case for her to dismiss her previous motion,Leo could now visit even keep their daughter for as long as he wanted, but another decision had to be made, it was looking at him dead in the face.

"Cris?" Marcelo said quitely coming into his home.

Cris didn't answer.

"Cris?" He tried again, Only did the papers his friend was staring at come into his veiw.

"They were delivered this morning." Cris said his eyes not leaving them.

"Have you signed them?" The Brazilian asked.

He shook his head.

"Do you plan on signing them?"

Cris didn't reply.

Marcelo sighed,"Do you want to sign them?"

Shaking his head, Cris knew his heart was in the wrong place.

"Have you talked to him?" Marcelo crooked his head to the side.

"He won't answer my calls, he blocked my number."

"I didn't mean on the phone I ment in person." 

"What good would it do, he hates me." 

"He doesnt hate you."

He snorted,"How do you know this?"

"Cris, if he hated you he would be trying to also make your life a living hell, he hasn't done that in any way."

He knew his friend was right, but a burning thought was stuck in his head,"What if he wont take me back?"

"Then you fight for him." Squeezing his friends shoulder,"Remind him why he fell in love with you."

"And if he signs?"

Marcelo frowned a bit,"Cris you would have to look in yourself and know when to let go, and hope it all works out in the end."

"Have I ever told you, your a good friend?"

Marcelo grinned happily,"No but its nice for you to admit every once in a while." Standing up," Go and tell him how you feel, the baby can stay with me till you get back."

"I don't know how long it's going to take." Cris not wanting to burden his friend in anyway.

"Cris your making excuses, GO!!!!" With that he pushed his friend out of his home handing him his keys,"And dont come back till you've accomplished something."

"What do you want?" Xavi spat opening the door,"Have you not made it hard enough for him already."

Cris rolled his eyes ignoring the ever present thorn in his side," Is Augero here?"

"Yes I am." Kun said making his way to the door,"You come inside quickly."

"Your just inviting him in after everything he has done to our friend?" Xavi could not believe what he was hearing.

"I just did." Kun said nonchalantly, ushering Cris outside on the patio.

Cris dropped his keys and the folder he was carrying by the side table at the front, this proved to be a fatal error.

While outside, Leo had made his way downstairs.

Stopping as he entered the hallway, a familer scent was in the air it was Cristiano's colonge, following to where the scent had originated, he found the folder.

The last shred of digity and sanity he had abandoned him as he read the contents of the folder.

He now had no reason to live.

Upon re-entering the house, Cris sensed something was off, this was confirmed when he saw his neatly arranged folder with it contents thrown on the floor.

Before he could say anything an ear shattering scream came from outside.

Cris knew at that moment exactly what was happening, taking the stairs two by two he ran to the second floor searching for Leo screaming his name, his worst fears were confirmed when the door to the thrid story roof patio was found open.

Cesc was visibly shaking at the sight of his best friend standing close to the edge of the roof .

He, Geri, Dani and Andres had all come over to try and help cheer him up only to caught in the opposite predicament.

"Leo?" A small voice said coming from behind, he was standing so close Cris thought he would slip and fall by accident,"Leo its me."

"Leave me alone." The Argentine shouted,"Why wont you just leave me alone."

"Lionel please listen to me you don't have to do this." Cris pleaded, from the time he had last seen him, he if it were even possible had lost more weight.

"You don't care, about me you never did." Leo took two steps from the edge, looking up into Cris' eyes they were wet, and shone with hurt and desperation.

"Lionel, Please you cant do this I love you I never stopped loving you." Cris felt his eyes realesing tears.

 Leo shook his head smiling sadly "You don't love me, and I understand I was never up to your standards."

"Listen to yourself, your wrong, You passed my exceeded them everything about you." Cris couldn't even step forward for fear the man would truely jump,"You cant kill yourself, Your family needs you, your friends need you, I need you."

The emotions were building inside him, ready to boil over," I'm off no use to anyone, anymore." Tears rushing down his face," I want to die, I have nothing left to live for anymore."

"YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!, you have Alexandria." This was his final resort their daughter,"What am I suppose to tell her when she gets older?, her daddy didn't want to live anymore so he left her alone to mourn for him."

Even the thought of leaving his little girl alone did nothing to change his mind, it made him more resolved.

"She'll have you to take care of her and I'm sure your going to do a phenominal job." Stepping closer to the ledge.

"Lionel you cant do this, don't leave me." Cris could only hope he would listen.

The sounds of sirens could be heard over the distance, even without looking behind him Leo knew they were headed in the direction of his house.

"Tell her everyday that I love her." Taking a deep breath.

"Leo don't please don't jump!!!!." The tears for Cris where coming harder than ever.

"God please forgive me for what I am about to do."

"Leo please!!!!"

Taking a final look at Cris, the sight was breaking his heart,"I love you." Taking a deep breath,"I'm sorry."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cris shouted, watching the man he loved jump.

The sickening sound of bone meeting concreate was not too distant as were the screams and sobs of friends and neighbours below.

The Crimson liquid leaving his body, with his last painful breath, he hoped the peace which had evaded him in life, he would finally get in death.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Sorry is the hardest word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drama unfolding after Leo jumps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Never happened, figment of imagination.  
> Excuse the shortness, but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting.

Feet, hitting step after step, legs moving as fast as they could, until they couldn't buckling under the weight of their owner.

blood streaming from open wounds, guilt bubbling inside this was his fault, if he hadn't left him, if he hadn't brought those papers.

The realization finally sinking in, he was surely dead, no one could survive a fall like that.

The last thing he remembers, being held back, shouting, crying before everything went black.

Fabio, Marcelo,Gonzalo and Angel all burst through the door of the hospital, quickly leaving what they had been doing upon hearing the news.

"Sergio what the hell happened?!!!" Gonzalo, demanded upon spotting his friend with his head held down.

Slowly lifting his head, his face displayed his emotions,"He Jumped..he just jumped." Tears leaking from his eyes," I didn't know he was suffering so badly or I would have done something, I should have seen it." He had decended back into a crying wreck.

Closely examing the waiting area, Gerard holding Cesc as he cried into his shoulder silently crying to himself, Xavi and Andres weeping with their heads down, Dani and Victor appeared to still be in shock, while Leo's family were inconsolable.

"Is he?" Angel finally asked taking in the scene, his eyes also watering.

Kun shock his head signalling no,"He's in surgery." Forcing out the words,"Cris they had to sedate him."

"Sedate." Angel said simply,"After eveything he did to him, he's the one sedated."

"Angel." Marcelo pressed him to stop.

"No I'm not going to shut up, lie after lie was written about our friend and we just sat there and let it happen."

"Angel.." It was Gonzalo's turn to try.

"If he had kept it in his pants this wouldn't have happened." Fabio snorted.

"So what if they fucked ?" Angel had finally lost his temper." Because I can tell you,if your friend was doing him well enough he wouldn't have had to look for it else where."

"What the hell is he talking about?" Dani asked shocked by what was taking place,"Our friend tried to kill himself this isn't the time or the place to discuss this."

"No it's the perfect time, actually." Fabio walked towards Kun,"How does it feel to break up a marriage?, to break up a family?"

"Get out of my face." The Argentine stood up.

"No lets talk, its long overdue." Grabbing ahold of the shorter mans collar,"Was it worth it?"

Kun was not in the mood for this, he had never liked Fabio,"It was actually." 

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on." Xavi said confued.

"He and Leo fucked." Fabio snarled.

The shocked gasps, which rang around the waiting area.

"What?" Gerard looked to Cesc who seemed more confused than he had ever been in his life,"I thought.."

"You thought wrong." Fabio snapped," And you always ready to kiss his ass."

Kun smirked dirtily,"We did everything and it was great."

"You peice of..."

"STOP, OKAY STOP." Marcelo shouted, he had heard enough,"Fabio let him go, we need to find Cris."

Gonzalo and Dani were now physically hauling the Portugese off the smaller man.

"If that's what you think, then fine." Kun spat,"I didn't have sex with him."

"He did this to my son." A small voice said from behind.

All those present went still, in the heat of the moment they had forgotten about Leo's family being present.

"Jorge." His wife tried to calm him down.

"Revenge." Tears coming down the older mans face,"My son is as good as dead because he wanted revenge."

Looking at Kun, Angel and Marcelo Fabio had never felt more ashamed in his life.

Not far away a different story was onfolding only far worse.

"He's coding." A surgeon shouted in the Or," I need ten CC's of Epi stat.

Blood covered the floor, the light blue surgial scrubs tainted by the color.

"Were losing him." The sound of machines flating signaling eminenet death was deafing.

"Ten more CC's now." Panic had set in he had been gone for two minutes, this had put the doctors in the worst possible position not only were his injuries hindering them from doing there job, but he was now bleeding uncontrolably.

After five minutes all hope seemed to have been lost until finally someone who knew if he died millions would be devastaed, did the unthinkable and injected 20 CC's of Epi directly into his heart.

After another 30 long seconds a distant, weak beep was heard, indicating said person was indeed alive.

"We need to work quickly before he lapses again."

The general surgeon knew what she was talking about, as both the Neuto,Cardiotherasic and Orthopedic Surgeons had to be called in to help in all her years she had never seen someone injuried this badly and was still alive.

After work combining a total of 13 hours, he was alive his chances of survival had improved but of ever having a normal life again, were highly in doubt.

As the clock ticked, by and minutes turned to hours worry only increased.

Cristiano had finally after 5 hours come out of sedation, he was just as if not more eager to hear.

Immediately everyone knew upon seeing four different sets of doctors they all feared the worst.

"Is he dead?" Kun couldn't help but blurt it out.

"He's alive only barely." A short woman in her mid-40's said introducing herself as a general surgeon,"The injuries sustained by Senor Messi were catastrophic."

As the doctors went on to explain, Leo suffered a factured skull, with bleeding on his brain as a result luckily that was one of the less complicated procedures he had endured.

As the Cardio surgeon made his run down, everyones mouths feel open not only had hsi heart stopped beating, it had also been punctured by one of his ribs, as where his both his lungs. 

His shoulder  and sternum were dislocated, right arm and rib cage were practically shattered to the point, the doctor had to use industrial strength medical glue to mend his ribs and a total of 35 screws and bolts to hold his arm in place until the bones had set back.

He is severly anemic." The resident hemotologist said,"Even more so than anyone I've seen prior to this did he happen to lose a significant amount of blood?"

Kun realized he was stuck between a rock and a hard place but the greater good of his friend ment betraying his trust.

"Last week." Kun said knowing it was now or never," He suffered a miscarriage."

Cris' head snapped up in the direction of the Argentine,"He was pregnant?"

 Kun slowly nodded his head," 2 Months."

"Was it mine?"

Kun nodded again.

Cris hung his head in shame,"He didn't tell me."

"Can you blame him, you prick he was scared." Xavi snapped.

"Okay gentlemen moving on." the Female doctor said.

Their attention had again returned to her.

"There is something else, the fall caused a peice of his broken rib, to migrate towards his spine implanting between his 2nd and 3rd vertebrate."

They all stayed silent.

"We don't know the extent of the damage so far, but you should prepare yourselves for the worst."

"What do you mean the worst?" Cris was now out of his seat.

"He may never walk again."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Things can always get worse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo awakens to recieve crushing news and the results are drastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Never happened, figment of imagnation.  
> I strongly suggest listening to sometimes love just aint enough by Patty Symth and Don Henley, for this chapter.

"Never walk again?" Cris as with everyone else could not believe what he was hearing,"There has to be some mistake."

"Sir, there is no mistake." 

"There must be something that can be done anything." Cris pleaded "Football is his life."

"Sir, he at this point is lucky to be alive I suggest when and if he wakes up he get counciling and learns to readjust to a new way of life."

Watching as the doctor walked away, shock still high in the room.

Cris' mind was going a thousand miles per minute, only to blindsided by a punch to the face. The begining of many blows.

"I hate you." A very angry and resentful Xavi shouted landing blow after blow to the now man on the floor." You destroyed him."

"Xavi." Andres and Cesc struggling to pull him off.

"Why did you have to hurt him?" Xavi for someone who was known to be unemotional had cracked,"You took everything away from him."

"Someone get him out of here." Dani hissed signaling them to remove the man from the room.

Cris lay bloody on the floor.

"Are you okay, can you stand?" Fabio asked concerned.

"For someone his size he sure hits much harder than I thought he would." Cris said trying to be funny

"Cris thats not funny." Helping his friend up, placing him in a seat,"You stay put I'll get a nurse to clean you up."

For the first time since this whole fiasco began Cris could finally breath a slight sigh of relief, Leo was alive.

"Jesus Crist what the hell is in that thing?" Swearing as his skin came into contact with the anticeptic.

"Stop being such a big baby." Kun rolled his eyes at the mans reaction.

"Thats easy for you to say, your skin isn't burning." Snapping at the smaller man.

After the nurse had gone they were left alone, the silence was thick.

"They want you gone you know." Kun finally breaking the silence,"His family that is."

"You don't think I know that?" He said fatigue finally setting in,"The way Jorge looked at me if looks could kill, I'd surely be dead."

His eyes had begun to wet again,"What am I suppose to tell him?" water falling from his closed eyes onto his pants,"That he survived, only to never play much less walk again." Shaking his head,"Football is his life, he'd rather be dead than never play again."

Putting his arms around the crying man Kun tried his best to comfort him, but he himself was on the verge of crying aswell.

"I did this, everything is my fault." 

"You didn't know he was going to jump."

"I shouldn't have let it go this far." He was a wreck," I shouldn't have taken Alex away from him, I shouldn't have left him."

"There was nothing you could have done, nothing any of us could have done." Tears now streaming down his face, Kun didn't know what to do,"You need to be strong, he's going to push you away you can't let him."

Cris didn't know how he had ended up at Leo's house or how he ended up changed, what he did notice was the left side of the bed was empty.

Reality quickly set in Leo was in the hospital, potentially paralyzed and he was here in what use to be their bed alone.

It's funny how in life things, jobs even persons can be taken for granted. He had always taken for granted that he would have Leo for the rest of his life, yet three times now he had almost lost him and he knew there wouldn't be a fourth.

The sight of the first time he had seen him in the hospital, even the second was nothing compared to this, walking into the room Leo was awake staring at the ceiling.

Taking a seat beside the bed, Cris stayed silent waiting for Leo to say something. He didn't have to wait for long.

"You should have left me to die." The words were morbid.

"Leo." Cris tried only to be cut off.

"It was my fault, that I lost the baby." He smiled sadly," I weigh 124 pounds, I'm underweight for my age, height and gender my body couldn't support the pregnancy anymore."

"Lionel you couldn't have known this." Cris tried to hold his hand, but he was denyed.

"All the times I should have eaten I choose not to." Closing his eyes," If I had just eaten, maybe just maybe I would still be preganant."

"Leo.."

"No Cris just shut up, nothing you can say is going to change the fact that in addition to being fucking infertile I'm also paralyzed."

"They told you?"

Lionel looked at him utterly baffled ,"If you woke up not being able to feel your legs I'm sure you'd be panicked as well."

"They don't know If it's permanent, you can't get yourself worked up like this."

"I Couldn't even kill myself properly." He laughed cynically," I should have gone with the first thought and just slit my ..."

"No Leo we are not doing this not now not ever." All the anger he had came to the surface," I watched you jump thinking you were dead and all you can say is that your a failure, well guess what thank God you are many others didn't get the chance to fail." He was furious," Look at me damnit, you almost left our daughter without a parent and all you can say is your a failure, did you even truely think about her wait a minute no you didn't because if you did you wouldn't have done what you did."

Leo laughed even more cynically," How could I think about her?, I lost two children Cris TWO!! do you know what that feel like?, to carry a child and have them ripped from you not once but twice, while my living child I can't even see because you took her away from me?"

"Were you even going to tell me?" 

Leo stayed quite.

"I talked to the judge, I got the visitation order anulled, you can see her when ever you want."

"And thats suppose to make me feel happy?" 

"It may take a while for you to feel happy again, your going to feel hurt, frustration, anger but I'm not leaving your side, you will get better, you cant give up on hope."

"But I can give up on you." Turning his head looking into Cris' eyes.

"What?" He was confused.

"I signed." Looking towards the folder on the night table on the left of his bed," I asked Xavi, to bring them and I had my dad sign for me."

"I'm not leaving you." Cris said firm.

Leo looked on him smiling sadly,"I can't be with you anymore."

"Leo.."

"You were the first man I ever kissed, first man I had sexual relations with you were my first for alot of things." A tear rolling down his face," I never told you because I knew you'd make fun of me being the cocky bastard you can be at times."

Cris stayed quite he couldn't talk words failing him.

"You showed me things I never imagined seeing." His smile now filled with affection,"I never truely loved myself before I met you, and you unknowingly taught me It was okay to love myself, I deserved it, and for that I'll always be greatful."

"Lionel please I just want to help you." Cris now begged.

"For everything which happened, I forgive you I shouldn't have lied to you." Cris was crying before him, a sight he hated," I want you to be happy."

"You make me happy." Cris shouted desperate.

"You deserve better than me Cris.... you always did." Closing his eyes," I was a one off, I know you dabbled with men once or twice."

"No Leo listen to me, everyone before you was a fling okay you changed everything." Cris wasn't above pulling a not too far incident,"When the press found out about us,I was willing to retire just so you wouldn't have to cry, you think watching you cry was easy every comment said and wrote about you ripped me apart."

He wasn't lying when the press had found out about their relationship it was brutal even more so when they found out about his pregnancy. One Journalist went as far as to say the only way Cris could leverage over him was by putting him out of action thus knocking him up.

"I love you enough to let you go." Leo sighed deeply this caused his still recovering lungs and rib cage to hurt badly," What use am I going to be to you, now I can't even progress in a pregancy."

'Leo.."

"They said I could have lost all fucntions to my sexual organs." Leo was holding it together as best as he could,"I could potentially be impotent."

"Lionel don't do this to yourself." Cris was trying his best to reaffirm his willingness to stay,"I made a vow to you for better or for worse, in sickness and in heal.."

"Vows are made to be broken." Leo's voice was firm he wasn't budging," I want you to be happy and not have me as a burden, go find a pretty girl have some more children live your life."

"We could adopt, Leo we could still have the family we wanted." Cris was beyond desperate now," I can't lose you again."

"I don't want you anymore." 

"You don't mean that." The tears running down his face blured his vision.

"I do mean it." Leo tried his best not to cry,"I can't be with you anymore it's not good for me."

"Leo.."

"If you love me, you'll sign."

At this point Cris was stuck between a rock and a hard place, but how could he help someone who didn't want to be helped.

After 20 minutes of silence, a tearful Cristiano collected the folder and took the adjoining pen for the first in his life, it had taken him 15 minutes to write his signiture having to repeatedly stop as he continued to sob.

"Promise me if you need anything you'll call."

"Cris.."

"Please promise me, I want to be there for you in any way I can."

"Just take care of her." He refered to their daughter.

Cris nodded, This was the last goodbye.

standing, he carefully leaned over to kiss his lips for what he knew would be the last time, not expecting Leo to turn his head.

"It wouldn't be appropriate."

Cris saddly smiled, kissing his forehead instead. He left without looking back.

Now alone The emotion Leo had held in all came out.

He cried for what seemed like hours until finally, he couldn't cry anymore, he was in too much pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Letting go was only the begining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As lionel and Cris tries to cope with the failure of their marriage, Cris pinpoints the exact moment he should have seen it coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Figment of imagination, false never happened.

Warm water washing over expansive tanned skin, proved inferior to his problems. For the first time in probably his entire life he left like an abject failure. His husband had left him.

Entering the hospital room, the sence of earlier for the occupant still burned into his mind.

Kun sat beside his best friends bed, along with Angel,Gonzalo and Marcelo who to much of their surpise refused to leave.

"Leo." Kun tried softly stroking Leo's pale hand,"Lionel, you have to talk to me sometime."

Leo laughs a little at that.

Taking his friends hand, Angel stroked it soothingly,"Leo.."

"They hate him." Lionel started, breathing in the tubbed oxygen he was supplied,"My family, they never wanted me to be with him,said it wouldn't last." A sad smile graced his lips,"They were proven right."

Angel stayed quite remembering the seen which unfolded the previous day, he felt guilty.

"It's not your fault." Closing his eyes," You couldn't have known I told them something completely different."

"You should have told us?" Gonzalo finally asked teary eyed,"I thought you were dead."

Everyone present especially Kun, knew just how close he was this time to truely dying.

"I'm so sorry." Guilt bubbling to the surface,"I didn't know what to do, I didn't have anyone to talk too, I felt like I was losing my mind."

"You could have spoken to us." Marcelo finally making his presence known,"Regardless of all the shit which happened with Cris I still love you like a brother, I would have been there for you, we all would have."

"Leo, you have to let us help you, you can't go on like this."Angel tear fully pleaded.

All the emotion and pent up insecuries, finally flowing over.

"He was too good for me." Simply put, yet powerful in meaning.

"Lionel don't you dear." Kun spat anger and tears building." Don't you dear say that, he loves you more than words can discribe, I have repeatedly watched that man go through hell and back because of you."

Leo however could not accept this as fact," He never liked men, just dabbled around once or twice." Shaking his head he felt like an idiot," I was easy prey, wanting someone to love and accept me."

"Leo.." Gonzalo tried.

"I was stupid and inexperienced,couldn't even give a proper handjob." Dark thoughts he had held back finally coming back out," I was tierd of having to hide, so I gave in."

"Then why did he stay with you?" Marcelo asked never before had they seen him look more serious,"Lets be realistic, if he wanted sex from he could have gotten it any where."

Leo stayed quite.

"When he first told me the day after you two had hooked up, I wont lie, he said bluntly, you were a good fuck and maybe you could be a good on and off fuck for a while." The Brazllian paused, allowing leo time to digest this new information," I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but along the way something happened, he found himself becoming excited to see you not because of sex but because you truely fascinated him, he found himself being drawn towards your soul."

"But.."

"Yes he may have fooled around, but after you he changed." Marcelo reasoned.

"For all those months, he stood by and watched me suffer." Leo started his anger finally emerging,"All those months I sat down and read news paper after news paper of him every other day with someone new....he did that to hurt me."

"Yes he did, I can't deny that...but he swore to me he never slept with any of them." Angel never thought he'd see the day he had to beg for his friend.

"And you believe him?" Leo was having none of it.

"Yes I do, he loves you." The trio made attempt after attempt but each fell on deaf ears.

"Look if you don't want to listen to us we understand." Kun was exhausted,"But you can't hate him for the rest of your life it will detroy you."

Leo stayed quite.

After a few more minutes they got up and bid him goodbye, carefully placing hugs and kisses on his injuried body.

"Marcelo?" Leo spoke softly to the Brazillian as he was about to leave,"Take care of him."

Marcelo said nothing, sadly smiling he nodded and left.

Arriving back home eager to keep his promise the first place he found himself, was Cris' house, using the spare key to open the door the sight which greeted him was not surpising.

The enitre living room was completely destroyed.

"Cris?!!" Marcelo called, knowing the recent events combined would be enough to push anyone over the edge.

Luckily for him Cris wasn't that type of a person, Instead he found him sobbing under the orange tree in the backyard.

He said nothing, what could he say to the man who had not only lost another child, but also his husband in such a short amount of time.

"I should have known this was going to happen." Cris sobbed holding onto his friend for dear life,"I should have seen it."

"You can't blame yourself none of us knew he was suffering like this." Marcelo tried to comfort the crying man in his arms.

"I sensed something was off, the night after he had gone out with Kun." Running a hand over his face,"Maybe if I had confronted him from then I would still have him."

Marcelo was lost for words.

*Flashback*

Cris by this time had gotten use to Leo, not sleeping beside him at night, so finding Leo sitting on his bed as he stepped out of the bathroom was odd.

"Babe you okay?" Cris asked his back turned to the chest of drawers, getting no answer he proceeded to try and find something to put on.

Only to turn around to find himself pressed against Leo, his eye's looking up they had desperation and something else he couldn't pinpoint.

"Leo your scaring me now." Bringing his hand up slightly to stroke his cheek, what he didn't expect was Leo to grab his package giving it a firm tug.

"Leo what are you doing?" It had now been 4 months since he had been out of the hospital, close to 5 since last they had had sex.

Leo didn't answer he was too busy pulling off his and Cris' clothing.

"Lionel stop, if your not ready we don't have to do this." Cris knew Leo felt guilty about the lack of physical contact between them.

"Shut up." Leo snapped pushing Cris onto the bed with such force he began to think Leo must have been switched.

"What has gotten into you?!!" 

"I want your dick, I want it raw and I want it now."

"Leo calm down."

"I said shut up." A hard slap was imposed against his cheek,"Fuck me."

Cris was at a loss, never before had Leo acted like this.

"Let me strech you first." Cris tried again, panting in between rough kisses.

"No I want to feel you."

"I'm not going to hurt you." This was were he had to draw the line.

"I want it to hurt." 

"Leo.."

"Cris please I want to feel everything, I need you to give that to me."

Cris was lost, he was horny and wanted no needed sex but what Leo was aksing for was something he was uncomfortable with.

In the end the need of them both won out.

With a sharp cry of pain mixed with pleasure Cris entered him, giving him time to adjust before begining his unslaught.

keeping his strokes long but deep, Leo felt unusually tight, but he attributed this to him missing the feeling.

He found himself fucking his husband against the wall, Leo felt lighter than he remembered which wasn't much at this point.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." The words and sounds coming out of Lionels mouth only proved as added inspiration.

"Fuck so tight, so good." This was his favourite part about having sex with Leo, how he gripped him tightly, no he thought that was a lie his favorite part was when Leo fucked him, how filled he felt.

He was being rougher than any other encounter they had, but Leo didn't care he loved the feeling of his head and back banging against the hard surface.

Not content with the position, he wanted more pushing himself off the wall he made sure Cris took them back to the bed. He was ontop and he releved in it.

Cris would be the first to admit it Leo was always a handful in bed but this took the cake.

"Give me your cock." Leo said sinfully out of breath,"I want it harder."

Cris was below him bucking upwards himself struggling to keep up with the tempo.

"Ughhh." Yelling as Leo's hand grabbed his hair yanking his head back, he was staring into the eyes of someone who he thought had never looked more dermined in his life.

"Yes, Oh God yes." Leo could feel his orgasm build, he rode Cris harder than he could ever remember till pleasure shot through his body, squeezing tight he grabbed Cris'throat as he bucked up on final time as he also came.

Roughly releasing his hand from the mans neck he wobbily climbed off.

"What the fuck got into you?" Cris said bewildered as they lay cooling down.

The smaller man shrugged, begining to struggle with the previous nights happenings and felt maybe this would be the last time he could be able to have sex with his husband almost guilt free.

After sometime Cris had to know,"Did I hurt you?"

Leo shook his head.

"Are you sure?"

Again the only reply he got was a head shake.

Cris could feel Leo tense beside him, knowing something was wrong he decided to leave it be not wanting to spoil the after glow.

Only this would prove to be a very very bad mistake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Lack of updates

To my dear readers i am extremely sorry but I have been beyond busy with school and am also suffering from writers block for this particular peice of work, I promise by Mid-December I will update though thank you for being understanding :)


	10. You need to save me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Leo continues to recover he finds himself at a crossroad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I am not back fulltime just felt really bad for leaving you guys hanging :( sorry, I promise to update when I can.  
> Sorry for the shortness of the chapter.

Home, house, casa, aboud the words one would use to describe their residence, the place where memories are made, children are raised and love flourishes. 

This for Leo was once true, now his expansive house served as a reminder of his life's failures, screw the awards and the recognition, screw everything.

Nothing mattered anymore when you could no longer walk, much less move without help everything he had taken for granted his family, friends and fans he was now pushing away they didn't understand he didn't need their concern what he needed was to be left alone to contemplate his next move.

"That's it Leo one more, just one more." His Physical therapist/Caregiver Simone egged him on," Good very good."

"Ughh." Leo said in a pained breath putting the weight down," Is this really necessary."

"Well unless you want a weakened upper body then yes it is ." A bright smile on her face," Your doing exceptionally well."

"I don't see the point of it all." Leo's face was a mixture of frustration and anger,"It's not like I'll ever be able to do anything independently  for the rest of my life."

"Yes you will." Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder," You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, you've already overcome so many odd's, you should have died in that fall but you didn't because you have more to do, so many more people to help."

"Why would they even listen to me?" Leo wasn't in the mood for this.

"Because you are already and inspiration...ahh ahh ahh no you're not going to fight me on this."

Leo rolled his eyes,"I swear i don't know why I keep you around, you're far too optimistic for my liking."

"I'm going to ignore that." Still smiling.

It was only later as Leo sat buttoning his shirt, did he stop to look at himself in the mirror, his normally pale complexion looked even paler, he looked aged and above all tired.

"Leo, guess who came to see you." Simone came inside the kitchen, she held the one thing or person who made him happy these days.

A huge smile spread across his face, " She wasn't suppose to come today." 

"Well your mother-in-law decided otherwise." Placing the baby in his arms," She also brought you chocolate cake."

"Firstly my ex mother-in law and secondly I think she's trying to make me fat." Carefully balancing his daughter in his lap he took a bite off the plate put in front of him,"This is so good."

"Well that was mean." Simone scolded him.

"But it's the truth I divorced her son, so she is my ex mother-in-law, I mean I still talk to her all the time but that's life."

It stayed silent for a while, Leo finishing his cake as Simone stared at him.

"Staring down at his only child," God when you get older what am I going to do."

"Buy a gun perhaps, she's gorgeous isn't she."

"She's all Cris." Still looking down at his now sleeping child," When I was Pregnant he told me I was lucky because i got his good DNA contributing to half our children, I always thought he was full of himself but I see now how right he was."

"Do you miss him?"

"Everyday." His voice filled with sincerity," Not a day goes by where I don't think about him, I know I should forgive him but I can't, I can't face seeing him or hearing his voice I'll break down if I do." Looking up at her, he saw her eyeing him curiously.

"Ask." She looked on him as if he'd gone mad, he just raised an eyebrow,"I know you want too."

"Ugh okay fine, how was it?" Biting her lip," I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't want too but I've been dying to know."

Leo smirked devilishly," Well if you must know, He can go the whole ninety without a break." Winking.

Her eyes popped open,"No!!! you have to tell me more please."

This was how Lionel found himself telling her about he and Cris' various sexual encounters, he normally wouldn't have told anyone about these things but he knew he could trust her and above all she wouldn't judge him.

All in all it had been a good day, better than he'd had in recent months, as he lay in bed his thoughts zeroed in on one person, someone whom he hadn't seen in close to four months, he tried to tell himself he didn't need anything or help from him but he knew it was a lie, finally after almost a half an hour of contemplation he decided to call someone else.

"Hello?" The high pitched accent responded.

"Angel?"

"Leo what's up ? are you okay?" He sounded tired.

"Yeah I'm fine, listen I just called to tell you I've thought about what we discussed the other day and I've decided I'm going to talk to him."

"Really that's great." Only he didn't sound too happy, in fact he seemed panicked.

"Are you sure you're okay? Angel you sound worried."

"I'm fine, just tired amm listen I'm kinda busy right now so I'll call you back tomorrow."

"No problem." As Leo was about to hang up he couldn't help but to ask again," Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yup I'm fine why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm just checking on you, I mean you've done so much for me and I know I don't say it enough but thank you, goodnight."

As Leo hung up, the phone fell from his hand, turning shakily his face seared with guilt was nothing compared to the person beside him, who looked on the verge of tears, both of them naked the telltale signs of what just occurred.

"Cris, what the fuck did we just do?"

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amazing strides are made In Leo's recovery, the mother of all bombs drops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: false absolutely not true.

Bile rose in his throat he couldn't answer, he just had sex with one of his ex-husbands best friends in a moment of loneliness he had fallen into a need to be loved and adored Angel had at first protested but then his body gave in.

Now passion was replaced by shame, disgust and betrayal, Angel had never looked this pale in all his time of knowing him,"We have to tell him."

Cris' head snapped up,"What do you mean we have to tell him?" 

Angel jumped off the bed and began pacing," Cris he needs to know." Running a hand through his already disheveled hair," I have to tell him."

"No Angel you can't." Walking over to the trembling man,"It would destroy him."

"What if he finds out later what then?!!!" Tears streaming down his face," Oh God what have i done."

"Angel please calm down." 

"I feel dirty, so fucking dirty." Cris could do nothing more than move forward and engulf the emotional distressed Argentine in his arms.

"Shhhh, It's okay."  Utter shame engulfed him, if this is how Leo felt , he felt ten times worse.

Sleep evaded Cris that night, to say he was frightened when he looked in the mirror the following morning was an understatement, the dark shadows under his eyes aged him by about a decade, the wrinkles around his eyes stood out more than normal.

Deeply sighing, he knew he had to get himself together, his meeting with Lionel was in two hours, showering only helped so much but the water failed to cleanse his soul.

He dressed in all black a far cry from his usual colourful wardrobe, somber.

Walking quietly back into the bedroom he stopped staring into the bed at angels slender frame, coming closer he sighed moving the covers further up the still sleeping mans body, there was no possible way he would have allowed him to leave last night more importantly he didn't deserve to be dragged into this disaster that was his failed marriage.

The drive to Leo's house was shorter than he had wanted, and he was now facing a major dilemma he could tell him upfront or he could take the chance and pray it would never be mentioned.

"Come on Cris you can do this, you have to do this." His mind screamed.

Exiting the car he knocked on the door, a young women opened it Simone he remembered her as being.

"He's outside, in the backyard." Her cheeks stained a light crimson, even being married to a man still hadn't changed anything girls still loved him.

It was a wonderfully cool day, the sun was the perfect height in the sky, his eyes quickly scanned the area before zeroing in on his target, in the almost 5 months since he'd seen him he looked well.

Walking over to the swinging bed, Cris stalled Leo's head was buried in a book if he turned back now and moved quickly he would avoid being se....

"Cris is that you?"

As simply as that his plans had fallen through, he had been spotted.

"Yeah It's me." Walking over to him, Leo was smiling that smile which made his heart swell.

"Please sit." patting the place beside him, The yellow shirt he was wearing made his pale skin look even more enticing, his hair had grown a bit longer, his lips still as full as ever, he was perfect.

"You're beautiful." Sitting beside the shorter man, who as he always did rolled his eyes.

"Cris I am not beautiful I am far too pale, still too skinny and ontop of that i need to cut my hair so in reality I'm a hot mess."

"pssh, like that's ever stopped me before." Looking up he was met by a smirking argentine, Leo took his hand gently stroking it.

"We need to talk." Staring into the Portugueses eyes," This is so hard to say... I was scared and I couldn't bear the thought of you having to take care of me."

"Leo." Cris was ready to comfort him.

"No I need to finish." Leo was trying his best to compose himself but it was not happening," Watching you beg, you were so broken, It killed me having to see you suffer because I wanted to die....I was wrong I shouldn't have signed, i shouldn't have given up so easy."

Cris didn't know what to say, having imagined this moment time and time again, he never thought he would ever live it.

"You want me back?" He looked at the shorter man hopefully.

Leo laughed through his tears," No Cristiano..... of course I want you back you idiot."

It had been a long time since Cris felt a smile grace his face but today was a special day.

"We need to celebrate, do you still keep champagne in the fridge?"

"You don't drink." Leo was shocked.

"Well it's not everyday you get back the love of your life so i'll make an exception." The smile on his face rivaled the sun.

"If you say so." Leo turned and proceeded to carefully get off the bed,"Though you always make a face even at the smell of the stuff."

Only Cris didn't answer, he was too busy staring in a mix of shock and aww,"You're standing?, You can walk?"

Leo simply nodded," It's been six weeks since I began to feel movement in my legs again, I'm only allowed to walk for a half an hour a day and only short distances with the help of a cane." Leo's mood seemed to change," I still haven't had an erection, with these types of injuries the problem could take years to fix so I may never be able to have one ever again."

"Leo I don't care about that, all I care for is your happiness." Stroking the side of his face,"I love you."

That day they toasted to a new beginning, no more secrets or lies at least thats what Leo hoped for, but  Cris knew he shared a secret no one could ever know.

Things progressed slowly over the next two months, Cris spent more and more time at Leo's home but always in a different bedroom, it was nice he thought having his little family back together.

On the outside everything looked fine but little did they know it wouldn't last.

They had just finished celebrating Alexandra's first birthday, everyone had come however Cris couldn't shake the sinking feeling someone was watching him, more importantly Angel was watching him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?' After the guests had gone leaving just them,Marcelo, Kun and Angel in the house.

"Dammit Cris I'm tired of this, the lies the secrets." Angel for the past few weeks had looked ill and was all out avoiding him.

"You promised you wouldn't say anything." Closing the door and bolting it shut, they were in the nursery, " You can't say anything, it was a mistake a one time thing."

"I'm pregnant." 

"What?" Cris stood silently watching the smaller man.

" And i don't know if it's yours or Marcelo's."

They stayed in that room for sometime Cris having to calm the poor man down inwardly panicked himself, after everyone but Kun had left, he sighed walking to Leo's room he opened the door.

He was greeted with the sight of Leo holding the baby monitor, anger blazing in his eyes. He had heard everything.

"Is it a fetish?"

"Leo I can explain."

"Do you have an Argentine fetish Cris....Answer me." Leo was raging.

"It was a mistake?" Cris took a step towards him only to be greeted with a slap across the face.

"Mistake ?, No this was a mistake giving you a second chance was."

"Leo don't.."

"You are going to take care of that poor man Cris if it's yours and you are going to marry him, because thats what he deserves, he wasn't just a warm open hole for you to stick your dick into he has feelings, for weeks I've wondered why he looked like how I did when I was pregnant only to find out he is."

"Leo."

"Get out.... I said get out." Not wanting to upset the man anymore Cristiano left, he had not only betrayed Lionel but also Marcelo whom, he didn't even know he and angel were together.

"Shhhh, it's ok." Lionel had never been more grateful Kun had decided to stay in his life, this is how he found himself on his shoulder yet again crying.

"No it's not ok, can not one thing ever go right in my life." The sobs had stopped long ago but the heartache still remained," No one is going to ever want me Sergio, I'm ugly, scared, divorced with a kid."

"Hey look at me." Moving Leo's head off his shoulder, he turned him to face him," You're not ugly you are beautiful both inside and out." Moving a lock of hair out of Leo's face,"So what if you have scars they show character and growth and that you've lived." His hand still caressing his face,"Anyone would be lucky to have you, to love you, to be with you." Sergios face had moved closer to his,"To kiss you."

Closing the distance as his lips met the other mans, his hands running through soft dark hair it was wonderful only ending when Leo harshly pushed him off, running a shaky hand over his lips, his eyes wide with fear and surprise, Kun knew he had made a mistake. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Changing of the gaurd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Angel tries to come to terms with his life, Kun's actions change all their lives forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me :(  
> Disclaimer: not true, never happened.

"You kissed me." Lionel was still processing what his best friend had done.

"Leo I can explain." Kun tried to move closer towards the man, who only back away some more.

"Explain?, How could you possibly explain you trying to take advantage of me Sergio." 

Sergio's face immediately fell,"Take advantage of you?" 

Saying Lionel looked enraged would have been an understatement," I trusted you, but no you're no different than him."

"Dont you dare compare me to Ronaldo I'm nothing like him." said through gritted teeth.

"Oh really?, Tell me Sergio did you drug me?"

Kun's eyes went as big as saucers," Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb when we went out did you drug me?, did you want to stick your dick into me so badly that you would stoop to that level?"

"I don't have to listen to this." Kun got up to leave, only for Leo to grab his arm.

"No come and fuck me Sergio I insist ." His eyes blazed with betrayal,"How do you want to fuck me, hmmm from behind, or do you want me to get on top of you, oh wait I can't do any of those because I still can't walk properly much less fuck, so I guess on my back it is." 

"Leo let me go." Kun tried to take his arm away but Leo's grip proved to be too strong, only loosening when he made a beeline for his belt,What the hell are you doing?!!"

"Come on baby, my mouth still works let me suck your dick."Still trying to take the man's pants off he was being fought," I promise you I'm really good at it, or do you just want to skip that, come on Sergio fuck me up my ass, I can take it l."

Finally managing to push him off Kun turned and left wordlessly, with Lionel cursing after him.

Explaining the situation to Marcelo was nothing like what either of them expected.

"So let me get this straight you slept with Cris after you had sex with me the same day and know you don't know whose baby it is?" Marcelo looked positively bored.

Cris nodded slowly, bracing himself for the coming confrontation, the brazilian got up and walked over to him what he thought was going to be a punch ended up with his arms being wrapped around him.

"You're not mad?" Cris could feel some of the tension leave his person,"How can you not be upset."

The brazilian sighed and let go,"Shit happens and we can't stress him out anymore than he already is." Looking over at the still quite Argentine," Cris I love you like a brother and to be honest if it were anyone else I'd probably be contemplating murder but you were drunk, we just had a fight and above all you hadn't known we were together."

"But..."

"No buts, besides If it is yours I'd be happy to let you take care of him " Marcelo smiled before walking over to his lover,"Angel please look at me." Only to be refused,"Please."

Finally lifting his head Angel's tearful expression said it all.

"I love you and what happened shouldn't have happened but I can't deprive a child of it's father" 

"No, Celo please, you don't even know if it's his." Angel pleaded.

The Brazilian softly shook his head," It is I never stopped using condoms I just changed the brand."

Angel looked even worse than before at this admission.

"Cristiano will take good care of the both of you." 

After Marcelo had left the silence was deafening," I will never forgive you for this." Clutching his belly Angel knew it was the beginning of his own personal hell.

For Leo it was the same it had been close to two months since he had last spoken to Kun and it was starting to get to him, maybe he had said some things he shouldn't have but he was blindsided by the kiss.

"Leo you idiot." Cesc was about to lay it on and he knew it,"Are you really that daft?"

"Apparently he is." Snorted Gerard.

"What are you guys going on about?" Leo was genuinely confused.

"The fact that for the past decade, Sergio has been in love with you." Angel swirled his iced tea around in his glass, as Leo choked on his.

"Wha...WHAT!!!????" Leo managed to cough out.

His fellow Argentine simply rolled his eyes," If you really hadn't noticed then you must obviously be blind."

"But he..he couldn't have been in love with me." Desperately searching for an excuse.

"And don't say he isn't gay, gender does not dictate love." Angel smiled softly,"If you want to speak to him I'm having a barbecue on saturday you should come,"And no Cris is not coming it's strictly for the AFA."

"I wouldn't even care if he was coming DiMaria." Leo rolled his eyes,"How are you?"

"I'm good, the morning sickness has finally gone away thank God, but how did you manage to live with him for so long it's been 2 months and I'm about to blow a fuse."

The entire table laughed,"Yeah i should have warned you his OCD is high up there." Eyeing his friend,"in my former bathroom behind the mirror there is a safe the code is 54321, when I dropped Alex off last week I filled it with chocolate, sweets and potato chips, I know how he gets about you eating healthy when all you want is sugar and salt, besides if all else fails Delores will never say no to her son in law."

"Leo if I never told you i loved you before, I'm telling you now I love you." Angels eyes glittered at the discovery.

"You already did, smh if i didn't love you i wouldn't have turned up to your wedding would I, besides you're family now and I have to look out for you."

"Leo I..."

"No you do not need to say sorry, what's done is done I've gotten over it I mean we weren't together so he didn't cheat." Moving closer to the slimmer man, putting a hand on his slightly bulged tummy,"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself."

"Only if you promise to give Sergio a chance." Opening his mouth to speak Angel motioned him to be quiet," I know you still haven't gotten over Cris , but when you do please give him a chance, I know you won't regret it."

Leo nodded silently not knowing if he could keep his promise or if Kun would ever speak to him again.

Saturday came faster than he had wanted, juggling the food in his hands while struggling to ring the doorbell, he was soon put out of his misery when Gonzalo opened the door.

"I haven't seen you in ages." Lionel said as the man helped with the food.

"Yeah well I didn't want to be apart of the circus you call your life." Hugging the smaller man." I have missed your short ass."

Chuckling,"Thats not nice."

"I never said i was nice." Releasing him Gonzalo lead him to where the others were.

"Leo what took you so long?" Mache questioned.

"Am  hello when have you ever known me to turn up to anyones house, much less a barbeque without food." Sitting down beside Angel who was too busy devouring the plate of ribs in front of him.

"So what did you bring?" Lavazzi eyes sparkled.

"I made lasagna, empanadas, taquitos and cheesecake for dessert." As soon as he finished his sentence the back yard all but emptied with a mad rush towards the kitchen.

"If i didn't know any better I'd have thought they haven't eaten in days." Angel said wiping his lips, before getting up to Fix Leo a plate," Eat this."

Leo did as he was told, eating plate after plate plate of food, He mingled amongst guests, laughed at jokes all in all was the perfect visitor.

"Leo come here." Angel said dragging him into a corner,"Please don't be mad at me Kun has been here all day and I made sure to keep you both separated."

Leo knew he had either of two choices which were either to leave or to stay and confront the issue.

Walking to the table where Kun was he took a seat in front of him, almost immediately his mood went from jovial to pissed off.

"Sergio?" Leo tried, this only fell on deaf ears, as Kun continued to drink his beer paying him no mind,"Sergio please."

"Don't you see he's trying to talk to you." Gonzalo said, Kun glared at him putting his beer down.

"Angel thank you for inviting me here today but now i must take my leave, give Cris my regards."

"Sergio don't go stay and speak to him." Mache begged, causing him to stop mid stride.

"I don't care about him anymore." Slamming the door behind him, leaving everyone stunned, the strongest and longest friendship on the team seemed to have ended.

So having his room door practically kicked open by Kun later on that night was more of a surprise than not.

"Ser..." Leo was scared the look in his eyes was something he had never seen.

"Shut up, you stupid, inconsiderate asshole." Walking closer towards him,"After everything we've been through all these years,  how dare you accuse me of drugging you of taking advantage of you, you think I'm some kind of rapist?" Leo thats what you made me feel like, I had done something wrong when all I did was kiss you." pacing the floor," Well guess what I made a mistake, a terrible mistake which is your fault, you had to make me fall in love with you, from your stupid laugh, to your stupid mop of hair, the paleness of your skin, everyday i wonder what it would be like to make love to you, why Lionel why did you have to do this to me?", Running a hand over his face,"You know the worst part is I do care, you made me care." Sighing heavily," Look I'm sorry for barging in like this I just needed to vent okay."

"You never said anything Kun, how was i suppose to know you felt like this?" Finally putting down the book he was reading.

"I thought you knew, you just didn't want me and now I know differently and i feel like an idiot." Looking down sadly,"I've probably ruined our friendship, so I guess this is the last time i'll be seeing you, Contact my mom when you want to see Benji I can't deny him of his godfather."

Turning to leave Leo knew it was now or never," Wednesday."

Kun stopped and turned back around confused.

"If you're not doing anything I would love to take you to this new restaurant  in the city square."

"leo don't.." Kun sighed  exasperatedly.

"Just here me out please, I promised Angel I would give you a chance and I meant it, I know I can't take back ten years of pain and misery but I would love to give you a well deserved chance."

"I'd just be a rebound." 

Shrugging his shoulders," come on good food, good wine, good company." Sergio still looked unconvinced, extra incentive was needed," You could also get an open invitation at the end of the night." Winking.

Sergio definitely perked up at this, "Really?"

"No you horny bastard." Rolling his eyes," If you want to get into my pants you have to work for it."

"You're no fun." Pouting the Argentine finally relented,"Okay fine I'll go."

Leo's face immediately lit up as he quickly crawled to the end of the bed throwing his arms around Kun's neck,"i've missed you." Kun didn't answer he just let his body talk for him.

"How did today go?" Cris asked Angel who had just put Alexandra to sleep.

"It was good, really good." Leaving out Leo had showed up.

"Okay well I guess I'm going to go to bed, so I'll see you in the morning." 

"Cris?" Angel spoke softly.

"Hmm?" The portuguese turned.

" Can you stay with me, i mean I feel lonely tonight and I don't want you to have to think you need to..." before long he was rambling.

Cris simply closed the door and got into bed beside him before engulfing him in his arms.

"I forgot how good this feels."

"To not sleep alone?"

"To be held."

"Angel we will make this work I promise." Kissing the top of his head it was not too long before they both drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. i may just fall for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sergio continues in his pursuit of Lionel will feelings blossom, Cristiano continues to test Angels patience, the results prove near disastrous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : False, never happened.  
> I do not condone violence of any kind, if you are currently in a violent relationship please leave and call the police you deserve so much better.

"How does my hair look?" Lionel was trying his best not to be nervous but was failing miserably.

"It looks lovely, but you still need to get dressed." Cesc dragged him into his closet," Hmmm what to put you in?, should i go with all black or white button down with dark blue jeans, or.... here go put these on." Shoving clothing into his hand.

when Leo emerged from the bathroom Cesc couldn't help but grin, "Yup this will work." 

"yeah, yeah, yeah, you look amazing but your date is here." Gerard said spraying cologne onto the shorter man.

"Are you kidding me? , I look like I should be someone's grandfather."examining the oversized cardigan Cesc had put on him,"I dont even have a watch on."

"It's rude to wear one on a date Leo." Dragging him down the stairs where Kun was already waiting, his face split into a huge grin upon seeing Leo.

"You look amazing." sergio greeted him with a kiss on both cheeks, Leo rolled his eyes.

"Okay kiddies listen up there will be no hanky panky of any kind, Kun that means keep your hands, your lips and jr. to themselves." Gerard Glared at kun, who smirked.

"Hey I won't be anything less than a perfect gentleman." Telling the others goodbye, he lead Leo to a waiting Limo.

"You hired a Limo? Really Kun?" As Kun opened the door to let him in.

"Only the best for my Lionel." The other Argentine got in beside him.

"I'm not your Lionel." Leo smacked his friends thigh.

Smirking,"No not yet."

When they arrived they were greeted by the usual fanfare, paparazzi and some odd looks but nothing prepared Leo for what he saw inside the restaurant, it was completely empty, bar the roses and the violinist.

"You rented out the entire place." Leo was in shock,"Kun you shouldn't have."

"But I did." Gently caressing his dates hand.

The night went smoothly, Kun as usual proved to be good company, quite funny extra attentive not to mention good eye candy, even feeding him cake much to Leo's protests.

Before either of them wanted it was time to take Lionel home, the drive back was silent.

"I had a good time." Fiddling with his house keys.

"Me too." Kun had kept a decent distance from him," If you're not doing anything on saturday I have Benji and I'm taking him to the zoo, would you like to come?"

Leo smiled,"I'll bring Alex and we call it a date." He knew it was now or never," Would you like to come in?"

Sergio shook his head," I can wait for us to you know."

"Who said I was inviting you in for sex?" leo looked perplexed.

"Oh you.."

"No I wasn't."

"Well this is embarrassing." Kun scratched the back of his neck,"I'm just gonna go now, goodnight." Kissing Leo on his cheek.

The paler man couldn't help but smile a bit, some things never changed.

Sat saw the two of them followed by Cesc and Geri who insisted on coming along all at the zoo, looking at animals, taking pictures. after lunch they all headed to the park Geri and Cesc took the kids to get ice cream leaving them alone.

They sat watching children run and parents chasing after,"They are so cute."  Sergio said as a couple passed carrying their twins, Leo smiled sadly,"Do you miss her?"

"Everyday." He knew he was speaking about Sophia," I feel this guilt because i wasn't there to hold her as she passed, I never got to meet her."

"It wasn't your fault." 

"I know but it still hurts." Wiping away a single tear,"I shouldn't have led you on,1 traumatic birth, 1 miscarriage and the injuries i sustained damaged me beyond the point of healing, I couldn't perform for you because my nerves are damaged , even if you do date decide to date me i won't be of much use to you anyways."

Sergio turned to him raising an eyebrow," If you think after a decade I wouldn't want to be with you because of something so fickle, well I guess you don't know me very well."

He didn't see or hear from Kun for the next three days, when he finally emerged Leo was not in a better mood than the one he had been in prior in fact he was in a worse space.

"I still want you, I hope you know that." Sergio reiterated as they sat beside the pool sipping ginger ale.

"It's not worth it Kun." Getting up, to walk back into the house, Sergio followed him silently for the remainder of the night they watched movies until both fell asleep.

Heavy light streaming into his bedroom was a rude awakening for Lionel, groaning as he stretched out in bed," Too early." Opening his eyes, he found Sergio sitting up in the bed smirking,"Stop smirking, its way too early for it."

Kun rolled his eyes, before ruffling Leo's hair," I'm gonna go know, left you breakfast on the table." Getting out of bed,"Oh by the way nice tent."

Ignoring the in his opinion crazy man, Lionel got out of bed walking to the bathroom passing a full length mirror walking past it, before walking back," Well this is a pleasant surprise." Looking down at his now risen from the dead member,he took care of business in probably the longest shower of his life, all in all after he felt like a new man.

"No I don't want to go." Angel for the past hour had been arguing with Cristiano over attending a function with him.

"Angel you're my husband it's going to look bad if you don't come." Throwing his arms up," It's just one night, can you not be selfish for just one night."

"I'm selfish?, If you know what's good for you will take that back right now." Putting down the bowl of chips he was eating.

"Don't start with me tonight, get dressed and come on." Turning around, leaving the younger man sighing heavily.

"Stop pouting." Cris opened the door of the limo, about to exit," Smile people will think were having problems if you don't."

Angel did smile even through the assumed whispers and backhanded compliments, through the stares often times glares even though being asked what's it like being Lionel Messi's replacement or how he was just sloppy seconds, even when he felt like crying he smiled, as the guests laughed, as Cris laughed, as the world laughed.

On the ride back Angel Cris thought was unusually quiet, not once did he make an effort to say anything, Upon entering the house Cris had, had enough.

"What is it now?" He was not in the mood for this, Turning around to face him Angel's tear stained face said it all.

"You let them laugh at me." Walking towards Cris,"You laughed at me when they asked how it feels to be sloppy seconds, you did nothing to defend me, you laughed whole heartedly."

"Angel calm down they were only joking." Rolling his eyes, walking past him he was in the process of loosening his tie,"besides you did that to yourself, too stuck up."

"I'm too stuck up?" Angel by now was seeing red,"Do you even care that from the moment I've said i do I've been nothing but unhappy, did you even notice?, of course not you wouldn't, the only time you pay me any attention is when you nag me about what I eat, criticize my fashion choices, or when you want sex, so no you son of a bitch you don't get to call me selfish."

Raising an perfectly plucked eyebrow Cris snorted,"I bother you for sex? Angel don't make me laugh, having sex with you is like having sex with a sheet of cardboard, though i think a sheet of cardboard would be more suited for the job that you, you  are so boring it kills the mood Hell i don't even know how I get it up for you, Skin and bones does nothing for me I guess my standards really have fallen."

"And now you feel the need to insult me." Shaking his head,"No wonder Leo left you."

"Don't you dare say that, you don't know anything that happened." Walking towards him,"Shut your mouth."

"No I won't, did you make him feel worthless."

"Shut up Angel, You are a cheap whore sleeping with two men at the same time, not knowing who the father was, You think I didn't see you tonight Flirting and laughing with that man."

Angel was taken aback by this," Flirting?, The one man who was nice to me you accuse me of flirting with? are you really that delusional Cristiano." Poking him in his chest,"You are a pathetic, weak, self centred asshole."

Never in his life had Cris felt so much rage enough so he didn't realize what he has done, Angel clutching the left side of his face, where his fist had connected.

"You hit me?" Hurt evident on his face,"Hit me again."

"Angel please, I'm sorry i didn't mean too." Walking towards the Argentine.

"Hit me again, I might as well get use to it from now." This sentence stopped Cris dead in his tracks," Or better yet I'm out of here."

"Angel lets talk about this." Walking quickly behind the man who was fast approaching the stairs, Grabbing onto his arm,"It was a mistake."

"Get your hands off of me, how could you touch me", Turning his face blazing with anger "Have you no honour or respect I'm carrying your child, and you hit me."

"i didn't mean too." Cris was now at the point of begging.

"You can keep your I'm sorrys." Maybe it was a mixture of the five months of pent up frustration, or the anger running through his veins, which ever it was the one thing he didn't expect was this.

"Ughhh." Holding onto his stomach, he felt as if he were being stabbed by numerous small needles.

"Angel?" Cris slowly walked towards him, worry etched on his face.

"Stay away from me." Spitting venom before another round of pain ten times worse shot through him, this time causing him to have to grab the railing for support.

Cris sprung into action, picking him up he quickly carried him to the car on arrival to the hospital he refused help choosing to carry him in bridal style into the waiting examination room before being kicked out against his protests.

It had taken an hour before anyone came to speak to him, an hour of worry, and hour of reflection and hour of self loathing, he hadn't meant to strike him, it happened before he could stop it and now he didn't know what he was going to lose, he tried so hard but he couldn't help himself he was falling in love with him and he knew it, thats why he was so mean and hurtful it was a self defence mechanism especially with the Marcelo situation, he knew he couldn't open his heart to anymore pain.

It was a near miss, he was told by the doctors, both Angel and the baby were fine but for the next two months he would be on semi-strict bedrest, due to his blood pressure being so high.

"The fall which he suffered, hasn't caused any  head injuries." The doctor said, slowly but surely the information sinking in his two loves were ok," He's a bit drowsy the medication, but he's asking for you, try not to make him stay awake long."

The beginnings of a bruise forming on his now pale face, his hair a mess, his clothes changed to a hospital gown Angel lazily caressed his tummy.

"The spawn lives." He tried to joke only Cristiano didn't have the energy to crack a smile.

"You lied for me." Simply put yet meaning so much.

"Cristiano Ronaldo arrested for striking pregnant husband in alternation, could you imagine the scandal the tabloids would eat it up." Angel went quiet for a while,"You didn't mean it, I can't hold it against you, I know it wont happen again."

"Angel I am so sorry..." A finger to his lips silenced him.

" Shh,I know Cris, I know." Moving over in the bed for Cris to get in, the next morning this is how the doctors found them sleeping cuddled together in peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
